“The Dance”

While self confidence is frequently a front it it not usually difficult to see it as a front. Genuine self confidence is based on life’s experiences and reality, not simple assumptions or perceptions. In an effort to create better understanding consider the following. Self confidence is relative to what we understand as truth or fact. While we all have confidence in varied situations relating to different topics most of us will find more situations and topics that we lack confidence in.  Just because you can cook it doesn’t mean you can bowl, (trust me on that one). Just because you understand mathematics doesn’t make you a great writer and so on. Our ability to be completely honest with ourselves and others about the situations and topics we are confident in creates self awareness and probably encourages others to have confidence in us. It is OK to say “I don’t know” or “I’m not certain” in any situation. This in my opinion is humble. It is necessary to be humble to grow as a human being, we must always assume there is more to know about anything. My own self confidence is based on expertise I have developed in my career. I frequently find myself assuring someone that while I do not have the answer or solution I can find one. This candid response creates credibility. A follow up with an acceptable answer or solution instills confidence. On the other hand if we are believed to have the answer or solution and are given opportunity only to find we do not have answers or solutions we lose credibility.

Hmmmm…….

How we perceive ourselves is critical in any interaction, self confidence is based on our perception of ourselves. There is a fine line between self confidence and arrogance. I have found that the ability to walk that line as if it were a tight rope is an effective way to maintain a gratifying amount of respect without alienating anyone, thus creating allies in any forum or given situation. Often being humble is a path to knowledge and enlightenment. A potential mentor is more likely to share highly valued information with someone able to remain confidant and humble at the same time. This ability assures the mentor feels respected, and not as though he is wasting his time on someone who won’t appreciate his willingness to share information that may have taken a great deal of time to accumulate. There is a path to closely guarded secrets, although winding and treacherous, it can be worth it! Manipulate is a word I tend to associate with objects rather than people. A lump of clay being manipulated into a vase, marble perhaps a sculpture. Create understanding and agreement=Manipulate, in human terms. Manipulate implies complete control and sometimes deceit. Ahhh…..controlled chaos. Often times the thinking human does not have to maintain complete control in order to insure a given outcome. So begins “The Dance”.

Being Human and what it means

Being human is not as easy as some might think. This phase likely means different things to many people. For me this is the ability to co-exist with minimal confrontation, stress and unpleasant situations. It’s ones ability to interact with others under the most strenuous of circumstance. This is a form of Art in my opinion. Phrase # 1, Perception IS reality. Peoples perception of you dictates how they interact with you, Yes? How you perceive yourself is not always how others perceive you. Potential for being misunderstood? Perhaps, take the soft spoken but burley biker or the black belt soccer mom. Most peoples perception is based on appearance, Yes? Would your interaction with the biker differ from that of the soccer mom? Hmmmm……………..

It was inevitable……

I knew it was a matter of time! I have way to much to say and needed a forum! Hope this is the right one!